Just listened to a random song by Joni Mitchell, called “California”. The lyrics were:

Sitting in a park in Paris France
Reading the news and it sure looks bad
They won’t give peace a chance
That was just a dream some of us had
Still a lot of lands to see
But I wouldn’t want to stay here
It’s too old and cold and settled in its ways here
Oh but California

And it re-awakened my long lasting longing to go to the USA.

I kind of failed to do it. When I was a student I had two chances. One I let go myself, the other someone let go for me, I suppose.

That’s alright, life was exciting and is good now.

But politically, philosophically and in my heart, I believe I would have loved to be an American.

I am surrounded by people that dislike the USA, but it my opinion they are snobbish Europeans who don’t really know what they are talking about. Or they don’t see the bigger picture. Not the way I do, anyway.

For me the United States remain a dream.

And of course I don’t mean just visiting there. That’s easy, done that, jump on a plane a stay a few weeks. But I would like to work there, live there a little bit. Perhaps even stay for good.

I think Europe is fine, but too bureaucratic. And I think some of it’s values are great and worth living for, but some come at a price, and I don’t think this is seen and understood.

And, being an immigrant, I never fell in love with the country I live in now. I just couldn’t. There’s good people here, of course. Many. But it doesn’t feel like my country I guess.

Maybe the United States wouldn’t either.

Maybe what I am looking for is not a place but a certain vibe, a certain way to see the world.

If I am honest, that’s probably it. It’s an “Alchemist” thing, if you know the book. For sure.

As I write this, I feel this is truer than my wish to emigrate.

But still, I suppose I will keep the dream around. I will live my life here and then it will probably appear in front of me again, some day. Maybe because of another song