Posts
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Dangerous Mistakes
There’s a great line in the movie “Zorba The Greek”:
Life is trouble. Only death is not. To be alive is to undo your belt and look for trouble.
I think this depends on each person but in my case it was true.
There was a time in my life where I decided to wisen up. I made a list of sources of wisdom. In no particular order: Religion, philosophy, people I knew and could ask for insights. And I started my studies because I was fed up with the way my life is going.
Because before that I was stumbling from mistake to mistake. And I liked the results less and less.
Now those mistakes, they weren’t all bad. There were moments of insight and beauty and discovery. But there was also danger, actual physical danger in some instances, and opportunity cost. By opportunity cost I mean the time I spent looking for adventure I could have studied something. I could have started a business. I could have pursued a career. I could have read a lot of books. I could have become something. Perhaps a good guitar player.
I believe now that back then I was looking for something. Certain answers and certain insights that were missing in my life. However, before I decided to actively search for wisdom in literature, I was searching for it out there, in the wide world. The source of my (very limited) wisdom was experience and mistakes had to be made.
Well, I wish I reflected more back then. I was very immature..
But, I can’t change the past.
And the line from the movie above reminds me that maybe it was alright, after all. Maybe there’s a time for silliness. For wandering aimlessly. For taking risks to learn about ourselves and life.
Indeed, it could have all ended very badly.
I got lucky.
I am not sure if it makes me a fatalist to say that we have a predisposition to certain things. And our whole life is a development towards this thing, this whatever we’re here for.
And we take detours.
Perhaps, with a wise teacher, a Mr. Miyagi of sorts, or with the right parents, we get to discover this destination sooner. I wish most people would be that lucky.
But then again those mistakes, those adventures.. they are now part of the story of my life. Yes, a smarter, more mature, more evolved person would have extracted more benefit from all these events.
But I did what we all always do: I gave it my best shot.
P.S.: On the subject of adventure and travel I want to recommend a book called “Vagabonding” by Rolf Potts. If you have itchy feet give it a try!
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Free Time
I wanted to write a post about how we are wasting valuable time. But when I read it I decided to delete it in favor of this:
What we call wasting time is good for us.
Taking a long walk. Looking out the window. Listening to music without doing anything else. Reading a book about an odd subject that has nothing to do with work. Learning a new skill just for fun. Having a conversation about nothing important at all. Not wondering if the day was well spent.
If we did something along those lines, it secretly was.
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The End of Summer
Here is a picture of a sunset which I have taken in July.
I used to dislike the end of summer.
When I lived in Munich there was a highlight at the end of it: Octoberfest. Afterwards everything got unattractive. Colder and darker.
I used to flee. A few clicks and I was the owner of an airplane ticket. I boarded the plane and it went up and towards warm places. But then I asked myself: What exactly is the problem with winter? I wanted to know if there was something I really disliked or if I had somehow learned from others, from our culture, that winter was bad. That it was something that had to be endured.
So in the end I decided that it was learned behavior. Not my own truth. Even if it’s a wet no-snow-just-cold-wind-and-rain winter, I’ll still enjoy it. It seems like the decision was all it took for me.
But summer is ending.
I’ll miss the warm evenings of course. Being outside at night wearing a t-shirt and watching shooting stars. Here, a summer sky has a very nice dark blue color for most of the night.
So, now we will have autumn. A very beautiful time of the year.
And then winter.
And then 2020 will end.
Time flies, doesn’t it?
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More Like me And Less Like You
The title is taken from the song “Numb” by Linkin Park.
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
This post is about individuality.
Today is probably the best time in history to be ourselves.
Education is no longer interested to produce hundreds of thousands of copies of the same person. They know better now, I suppose. There’s a large diverse mass of things we now have access to. Many different kinds of music, fashion, worldview, and so forth. A lot of it has to do with finding new sources of income for companies and individuals. We not only can produce more (slightly?) different things cheaply, but we can also market them to narrow groups of folks.
For example, it can be an advantage if we start our own business. If we like something and it’s a niche thing, there’s a chance a few thousand or more people on the planet will like it, too. Using the Internet, these people can find us. If we can produce that thing profitably (and profitability may be the income for just one person, us), then we already are successful. It’s what they call “The Long Tail”. The mainstream is still there but it’s getting less powerful. The niches rule.
(Sometimes even a new, hidden mainstream can develop. I’m thinking about hip hop music which is some of the most streamed music today, yet you almost hear none of it on the radio.)
And yet, even though individuality is celebrated, there are still pressures to conform. There’s the fragmentation of society regarding politics. People seem to be very aggressive about their point of view. Some will insist that Donald Trump is a horrible person. Or the whole Covid-19 thing about the masks and wether we should wear them. And everybody seems to feel they need to convince everyone else. To me it sometimes looks like we have been liberated to be ourselves and at the same time we are exposed to even more pressure to conform.
And that’s why we should think for ourselves. Not walk with the mob. Disconnect from social media. Do not have an opinion on everything and everyone. And recognize that, as flawed as we may be, we are indeed unique and therefore our contribution counts.
A nice quote by Buckminster Fuller (a man who, I think, was very much “himself”):
No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else.
Of course everyone already is unlike everyone else, at least a little. But still, we can be brave about it. It gives us freedom. Our life becomes much more intense and real when we find ourselves underneath all the education and upbringing. Why not share that with the world?
There are times when I suddenly get a feeling of absurdity. I can’t really explain it but I think you’ll know what I mean if you ever felt it. I can’t even tell what is absurd. Am I absurd, because I foolishly assume I could contribute anything worthwhile that more capable men and women cannot contribute? Or is society absurd by being, well, ridiculous?
It’s a werid feeling and I think certain kinds of comedy evoke it it me. The last time it was an episode of “Community”. I think this blog also has some potential. What am I hoping to accomplish here? Nothing? Isn’t that absurd?
But anyway, our life will end soon. I suppose it would be great if it really was our life that ends, and not our imitation of somebody else’s.
I’ve just decided I’ll finish this post with a Karaoke Song by Frank Sinatra:
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friends, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way
Good for you, Frank.
P.S. I’m not dying. It just popped to my head. For another great version of this sentiment I recommend the Stanford commencement speech by Steve Jobs. And I guess I didn’t end this post with Sinatra after all.
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The Casino is Everywhere
Some risk money playing cards. Others play the stock market. Some enjoy a trip to the casino. We see it and might be tempted to think: “They are gamblers. Lucky for me I’m not like that”.
Yet if we think about it: We really are.
In life we must place our bets. We can go to the casino and bet our life savings on a number at the Roulette table. The odds are 1 to 37. We win, we multiply our money 36 times. We lose, it’s gone. Most of us will be smart enough to not take that bet.
But we must take other bets.
Choosing a profession is a bet. (Will society still need librarians in 20 years?) Or when we decide to become a musician and go on tour instead of continuing our education at school. When we start our own company. When we risk to lose a friend by having a discussion about a delicate topic. When we decide to tell someone a secret. When we volunteer to help others in far away places or, sometimes, go fight in a war.
We constantly place small and bigger bets. The amount of risk usually corresponds to the possible reward (or loss). (If the risk to reward ratio is not attractive, we will probably not do it.) For instance if we take a safe job at a large company we may be exchanging a lower pay and limited career options for an almost guaranteed paycheck. (So we think, at least.)
I think it’s good to remind ourselves of this truth. The assumption is of course: More awareness of the facts of life will lead to a better quality of life.
And yes, in the end we will lose it all, indeed. We should never forget to include death in our calculations.
The remembering of death can be the greatest help. It can help us make the right decisions.
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Aaaaand once again I am really extremely tired, but another post is finsihed. Good. I will no go to bed and fall asleep in fifteen seconds. Thanks for reading!
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